I neglected to say something very important yesterday which Katie pulled me up on just before bedtime. Charlie didn't go to Paris as my PA but as my friend: that is she expected nothing in return. This is an important distinction to make. Disabled people need and thus in any civilised society have a right to help. This changes the relationship between that of helped / helper to that of employee / employer. While any good employer will appreciate what his or her employees do, they are paid to do it. The difference comes when nothing is asked for in return, and when people act out of friendship and kindness. I just think we should recognise that for the remarkable thing it is.

I realised yesterday that it has been almost a year since Charlie and I went to Paris. In many ways that was a remarkable trip: I can be, lets say, a bit of a handful in terms of needing to be dressed, fed, and pushed etc. Yet charlotte being charlotte, she just took it in her stride. It's funny; sometimes I get the impression from the disabled community that we aren't supposed to feel grateful, but I frankly regard what miss Jones did that week as one of the greatest kindnesses ever bestowed upon me. Then again, c didn't do it out of a sense of charity: we obviously enjoy each other's company, and two friend's taking a trip together isn't a rare occurrence. It's kind of odd: it's almost as if I don't know what to think, or say. Should one feel grateful?

This afternoon I watched Casino Royale for the umpteenth time. I just fancied a bit of 007. o.k, he's a misogynist pig, and lord knows what he'd think of me ad my girlfriend, but there's something in Flemings character which appeals. That is the nature of cinephilia: it is a love which goes beyond comprehension and articulation, yet paradoxically forces one to reflect. I cannot explain why I love bond, but I feel the need to explain my love to legitimise it. So in effect in the process of the explanation I must explain that I cannot explain. See why I've taken 2 years ant 31500 words to write this thesis.

Physics is easy!

Our van has its MOT today, so dad dropped me off here at uni nice and early. It's good, because it gives me a chance to jot a few things down before the day starts - I don't like not having blogged, if that's grammatically correct.

Now, something happened this weekend online which has been playing on my mind. A week or so ago, a guy from school by the name of Simon M* added me on facebook. This guy was two or three years above me, and I knew him mostly by reputation. At first, I thought it was cool; even though Simon and I had never got on at Hebden, a lot of time has passed since those days, and I assumed we would both have grown.

However, I soon noticed something was not right. On his page, this guy spoke of being proud of being British, and keeping the land 'ours' (whoever 'we' are supposed to be). On its own I could let that slip - perhaps he's just patriotic. Yet yesterday I noticed this guy had signed up for being a fan of Adolf Hitler.

I sent him a message saying that I found that neither witty nor intelligent. I like jokes; my sense of humour can even be fairly dark at times. But I find nothing funny about the cold-blooded murder of six million innocent people. moreover, I find nothing worth glorifying about fascism. The way in which this guy then deleted me from his friend list would seem to imply that he didn't just do it for laughs though: something tells me that Simon M actually believes this crap. Truth be told, from what I remember of him, I wouldn't put it past him.

What gets to me is the sstupidity of it. A few days ago I saw a picture of a bunch of scallies giving the nazi salute. I truly doubt that these people have any idea of the true implications of their politics. They seem to have a few outdated ideas concerning masculinity and nationalism lodged in their peanut-brains, but seem unable to perceive the ramifications and contradictions inherent in them. They listen to people like Nick Griffin talk about protecting the rights of the British people over immigrants, but haven't the intelligence to realise that what he says has no basis in reality. For example, I saw griffin on T.V a few weeks ago saying that, if every culture mixed they would all loose their distinctiveness. WRONG. Rather than all turning grey and muddy, they remain distinct but blend at the edges. Chicken tikka masala anyone?

Thus I am becoming very concerned about how many people - mostly uneducated white males with short hair - have latched on to these baseless ideas and refuse to listen to any opposing argument. To them, of course, we're the wrong ones or the sell-outs or the traitors. We haven't realised what they have. How do you talk sense into people who refuse to listen?

*A different person to anyone mentioned on here befdore.

I suppose one of the worst things about forgetting to go to 1voice on Saturday was that I missed out on he social aspect of things. The truth is I like being in the company of other crips; there aren't many around alsager. I have a great many friends, and they accept me for who I am. Yet in the company of able-bodied people, I'm always the odd one out - the one who needs help, or the one who slows down the conversation. While neither I nor any of my friends have a problem with this (I'm not complaining, just stating facts) it's nice sometimes to be in company where you aren't the odd one out. I think that's partly why Lyn is an ideal partner for me. At Onevoice I'm not the only crip in the village. In fact I'm in the majority for a change, which is a rather nice feeling. I like conversations with people in similar positions to mine. This is complicated, and relates back to the old 'us and them' debate; it could also, I suppose, be distorted into an argument against inclusion, so we must be careful. But the bottom line is, I get a sense of belonging at Onevoice.