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Embarrassing photographs

I was looking at old photos of myself on Facebook yesterday. I was horrified to note how many of them depicted me drunk: I suddenly realised I was sozzled in quite a few. I used to think it was a sign that I was having fun and something to be proud of, but yesterday, looking at these photos, I thought ''You utter prat!'' Those pictures show how much of a dick I was: they aren't a sign of me having fun, but of me getting so ratassed that I had to be put to bed early. Well, I'm glad that's over: that stage of my life is finished with. No more pictures of me fast asleep in a chair in the garden; just sensible ones of the new, sensible me.

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